


The Asset Letters

by 401



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Flashbacks, Hydra, Love Letters, M/M, PTSD, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum, Torture, World War II, found letters, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 22:38:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6212935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/401/pseuds/401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Happy Birthday, Stevie."</p><p>A series of letters that Bucky wrote to Steve, but never sent, whilst he was operating as the Winter Soldier. Set from the time of the fall in the 40's to just after the fight on the Bridge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Asset Letters

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [The Asset Letters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557851) by [fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017/pseuds/fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017)



> I've tried to get the dates as accurate as I could so bare with me.

**April 4 th 1944**

Dear Steve,

You might never get this. I know you won’t, but I’m okay, and I miss you Steve. A lot. They’re holding me in a cell till I ‘stabilise’, they said. The Germans, I mean. I’m putting up a fight, just like you’d want. You were never one for being pushed around.

I’m not hurting too bad anymore, don’t you worry. They’ve given me a new arm, something happened in the fall, tore it clean off. I thought the blood loss would have done me in but they must have done something pretty neat. It’s all metal, real shiny. Its strong too. Seriously strong, but they’ve disconnected it from whatever power it runs on (my nerves I think) so I can’t use it to teach them all a lesson.

They’re pumping my full of drugs on the hour, painkillers I think, at least that’s what they said. Probably shouldn’t trust them, they aren’t helping much.

I wish you were here Stevie, I really do.

Win the war for me,

Bucky x

 

**April 7 th 1944**

I’m scared, Stevie. The floor’s moving I’m so woozy. Did you get that when they gave you that serum to make you all big? That’s what they’ve given me, I’m sure of it. I keep holding onto the walls to stop myself falling and my fingers go straight through. I’m itching all over and boiling up too, like my blood’s on fire.

You’re not stronger than me anymore at least. I didn’t like that one bit! They keep talking about conditioning and obedience. Is that army training? I think they’re gonna put me in their army. Like you, but for the Krauts. Well I’ll be damned if I’m going to fight for the Nazis, but it would be a good opportunity to escape. Disappear in combat, and jump straight over the lines. They won’t be able to catch up with me. Then, we’ll see each other again. We can move back to Brooklyn and open that bookstore you wanted, remember? You’ll love it.

None of this was your fault, Stevie. I’m gonna make it right.

Missing you,

Buck.

 

 

**April 9 th 1944**

They found my letters. They told me there was no point sending them because you’re dead. You’re not, I know you’re not. They’re just trying to hurt me some. I’m going to keep them all and send them in one big bundle, when they aren’t looking. That way, they’ll all get to you on your birthday. It’ll be real nice.

They want to test out a new piece of equipment on me, said it will ‘solve all the problems’ I’ve been having. Trying it out tonight. They said it’s part of this whole conditioning thing. It’s all a bit cloak and dagger but I don’t see how this can get much worse. I’ve run out of things to lose.

The regime is brutal. Training 4 times a day and discipline. I don’t want to talk about that, It’ll make you sad. It’s noting that I can’t handle though, nothing at all. I’ve told you already, but I miss you pal.

I’ll come and find you, just you wait,

Bucky.

 

 

 

**April 11 th 1944**

Stevie,

I’m not going to lie to you. They’re hurting me bad. Really bad. They used that machine. It knocked me clean out for days. The pain was so bad I was happy to pass out. I came round and the handler, Viktor, told me I had completed a mission.

I was sat on the floor of my cell for hours with blood on my hands. I don’t know Steve. I just don’t know how it happened. I’m scared. I just want you back and I want to go home. I promised you I wouldn’t let them see me cry none but I’m scared and sore and I miss you.

Come back,

Bucky.

 

 

 

**July 4 th 1944**

This is important. I know it is. I’ve scratched into the wall of my bunk so I don’t forget it. Steve Rogers; I scratched that in too.

It’s important, I know it is. I’ve already written that. Who cares?

Happy Birthday Steve Rogers.

I wish I had a photograph, you’re all blurred in my head.

Happy birthday.

Happy Birthday.

 

 

**July 4 th 1945**

I can’t believe you are actually gone. The newspaper. I stole it. They beat me for it, shocked me, cut me up. I don’t care. You’re gone. Nothing matters. Nothing is gonna hurt as much as that.

‘Happy Birthday Captain America: The Fallen Hero,’ it said. Posthumous.

You’re gone. You’re gone, Stevie.

The photo in the newspaper was nice, you looked swell. I hope it’s nice wherever you are, real pretty and warm. Lots of books of course. Never believed in heaven as much as my Ma but I’ll bet my last breath that’s where you are. Prettiest angel there. I hope you’re safe, Stevie. Sleep well.

Happy birthday.

 

 

 

**June 12 2014**

Mission brief: updated.

Primary target acquired. Code name: Captain. Description: 6’2’’, 250-260lbs. Enhanced individual, direct hostile. Responded expectedly to intervention.

Sub target, code name: J. Fury. Eliminated.

 

 

 

**June 14 th 2014**

The Captain. I know him. A known mark. None of my previous training has covered this. He knows me too. Asset to report for resetting and disciplinary at 0800 due to partial failure to fulfil brief.

 

 

 

**July 4 th 2014**

Steve,

I managed to save you, that at least I know. You were breathing when I left you, I’m sure of it. If you’re reading this, it means that I’ve found you or you’ve found me. DC is nice, I see why you stayed. Maybe one day I’ll pluck up the courage to come and see you, when I’m all better. If there’s too much water under the bridge, I understand. I’m motel hopping so it’s okay.

The fireworks are loud today, I’m not a fan but you always loved them.

I nearly forgot, Happy Birthday Steve.

I love you.

****


End file.
